Chapter 9: "Please" & "Thank YOU:" Not Optional

I have this mentality about please and thank you's that I owe entirely to my Mother. Ever since forever I've had to say please to get something (Didn't work if I asked for cash for some reason :]) and thank you when I received something. Not just in public. Not just at home. Not just when Mom is standing behind you to make sure you say it. Always.

Rodney is great about saying please and thank you; this post isn't about him not saying it. :]

It's about people in general. Well, more specifically, the tourists that I see and talk to everyday at work. Some people are just RUDE! I understand that they pay a lot to fly here, for their hotel, for their food and entertainment, and for their tacky convertible Mustang rental but...If my 2 year old brother has the capability of using his manners, so does a 50-odd year old woman. You know that trick that parents use with their younger kids where they hold whatever it is the child wants until they say please? Then say "What do you say?" afterwards to get them to say thank you? I can't tell you how many times I've had to restrain myself from doing that to tourists. Makes. Me. CRAZY. Of course I can't actually say or do anything to that effect if I want to keep my job, but ohhh so many tempting times. Just common courtesy and common sense to me.

Thanks Mom. :]

Chapter 8: I HATE Ants!!

Hate them! No matter how much I do to prevent and exterminate them, they're still there! They geckos in our house are slacking big time in their job to eat all of them!

These ants aren't like the normal little black ants from back home. They're smaller, faster, and trave

l in armies to make my life miserable. Apparently they're called "Ghost Ants." This is what they look like.

They are literally everywhere. Walls, tables, counters, chairs, bed, bathroom, sinks, carpet, food-oh, and my favorite, the SHOWER HEAD!! Are you kidding me?! You're not already invading enough of my home that you feel the need to take a ride on the stream of water from the shower into my HAIR?! Augh!! You know, if this was pre-pregnancy and I had ants in my hair, I'd just be annoyed and wash my hair again. At this point, however, I totally gagged and continued to do so as I scrubbed the stupid ants out of my hair. Pregnancy makes me weird.

The other thing these little jerks do is bite me. When they're all blended in with the carpet, it's hard to see them when they're charging my feet and then bite between my toes. They bite my hands when I'm at the desk on the computer. They bite my neck when I lay on the couch. Ant traps don't work. Ant spray works for about a day.

I found an interesting fact about this little terrorists though! Their butts change color according to the color of food that they eat! So...interesting but not quite enough to make me not want to kill them. (Oh look, three are crawling on the computer screen right now! Gah!)

That's it. I'm burning my house down...Better let my neighbors know, since it's an apartment complex. :]

Chapter 7:I Love My Rodney

My husband is such an incredibly hard worker. He has sacrificed so much and continues to sacrifice for our little family. He goes to class early and stays on campus for work and more classes throughout the day, then he comes home and studies and reads until well after I can keep my eyes open at night. Rodney always stops every little while to make sure I'm alright, even if I'm totally occupied in my own little thing. He cares.

He is thoughtful and sweet and notices things that I do around the house or just in general. He compliments the things I try to do (cook) even if I stink at it. One thing I can say with most certainty to any women/girls who

are not married yet; If you have a man who is not a picky eater and even if he hates the meal you've cooked, will never say a word, that will be something that you will always be grateful for. For example, Rodney (unknown to me) hates shrimp. I made it one night probably 6 months ago, and he ate every bite. It wasn't until a week or so later when I didn't believe that he liked every food and had to pry the words out of him that he didn't like shrimp. Remember the only reason he told me this was because I pinned him in a corner to get it out of him. :] My feelings were not hurt, and rarely are when it comes to cooking, but he insisted that it was ok if I made it again and that he would eat it again! I believed him, but I figured I wouldn't put him through the torture again! ;]

Sometimes I worry about the load that he takes on and how he tries to hide his stress from me to prevent me from being stressed, too. It is a considerate thought but I am way more vulnerable to stress if I can tell something is wrong and I don't know what it is/what I can to do help. I like to talk through a lot of things. Rodney, not so much. It's something we've kind of had to find a common ground on and now that we have, it's easier to find solutions for things weighing on either of our shoulders.

I love my husband. Something kind of tacky I want to throw in here, but I remember feeling like "Yes! Exactly!" when I heard this. For any Office lovers out there, this may sound familiar. There was an episode that had something to do with Pam (the receptionist's) parents and how they were going through a rough point in their marriage, but the whole episode had bits of Jim talking about how he felt about it and Pam talking about how she felt about it. There is a line at the end of the episode where Pam says, "When you're a kid you assume your parents are soul mates, my kids are going to be right about that."

My kid's will be right about that, too. :]

Chapter 5: The Wedding

Where to begin? Well, I slept horrible. That's a good place to start. :] I don't know when I fell asleep but it felt quite like that scene in a movie when as soon as a character closes his eyes, the alarm clock goes off. Morning came too soon and not soon enough all at the same time.

I could not wait to see the man of my dreams in the Temple that day, and to hold his strong hands as we were sealed together for time and all eternity. Everyone in the family prepared to go to the Temple to wait for that moment when we would walk out of those temple doors as Mr. and Mrs. Rodney Davetie Sopu. Little sisters and little cousins in their matching red dresses anxious to see the bride in her white dress. Parents emotional and proud of their children; the Sopu's youngest and the Erickson's eldest. Aunts, uncles and cousins giving their support for the two young people making that big step that leads to a chapter~a novel~of their new lives from then on. That step that would bring to pass so many adventures, and a beginning to a posterity that will stretch on to the eternities.

We had the absolute privilege to have Rodney's father, 'Isileli Sopu, there in the temple with us to seal us together for time and all eternity. Such an overwhelming amount of love filled that room. My parents, grandparents and extended family as well as Rodney's parents, Uncle Puna and Aunt Sociale were there for the sealing and what a wonderful experience it was. We were so grateful to have the love and support of our families and to have them there feeling the Spirit with us, too. We could feel my Great Papa Anderson's spirit in the room as well as many others who have passed on, and we could feel the love and the happiness they have for us as we made the choice to be married to one another for time and all eternity. After we were sealed, everyone in the room came around to us to hug us and give us their love before we went outside to greet the rest of our friends and family. Such pure joy was filling that room and continued to fill every room that we moved into from that moment and throughout the reception later that night. I loved the feeling of having so much support and people there who loved us and wished so much that the rest of Rodney's siblings could have been there. Their love and support was with us, but oh how we wished they were, too.

Anyone who wasn't (or still isn't) in approval of our marriage; well, there isn't much we can say or do to try and change their mind. They have feelings set about us and/or the choice we made together to get married and that is something that they will have to come to terms with in their own lives. We're not going to have our lives negatively affected by people who choose to hurt others with words and cruelty. We are happy. We are blessed. We pray together and make decisions together. We have the knowledge of the gospel and the knowledge that we are living our lives in the right, so we know that with our strength together and with the Lord, nothing can shake that.

We went out into the waiting room before going outside to take some pictures with family and friends who had traveled short distances, long distances and halfway across the world to be with us. More hugs and more tears. :] A moment I will never forget and a memory that someone captured for us; the moment when I got to hug that tall baby brother of mine. He is still a few years from receiving his own endowments and going out on his mission for the Lord, but I had a wave of warmth come over me as I hugged him because I know how wonderful of a missionary, a man, a husband and father he will be one day. I have known that for quite some time and I remember that realization when he was still quite young. He has a gentle kindness about him that just radiates Christ's teachings and the type of man that all men should strive to be; a good one. He takes after our Daddy.

My Rodney is like that, too. I'm so glad that I had a great example growing up of how a man should be. So that one day I could find the man of my dreams, and the one who would treat me as my father treated my mother. A man who would love and cherish every moment with his children no matter how naughty they were being. A man who would put his own needs and desires second to the welfare and protection of his family. A man who would lead by example in all things from paying a full tithe and going to every church meeting to helping mom with the younger kids and making life easier around the house by picking up your own mess. That is the type of man I grew up knowing as the only kind to marry, and my grandma has always told me to marry someone like my dad.

I did.

We went with Arah Kunz and Julie Eggleston (our incredible amazing wonderful fun wedding photographers!) after we had finished at the temple to a park near my home to take the rest of our pictures and had so much fun even though we (or I) couldn't feel our toes, fingers or noses! :]
I knew that the pictures would turn out awesome after how much fun we had and how wonderful their previous work is and couldn't wait to see the finished product! (madelinejamesphotography.typepad.com )

After that, we all head over to the church building where the reception would be held later that evening, ate a fantastic lunch, ate fantaaaastic snickers chocolate cake and took more family pictures. After this had taken place, we all head back to our homes to take much needed naps! :]



Later that evening everyone changed out of their sweats back into their skirts and dresses, or in our case his pinstripe suit (hot) and my fancy schmancy wedding dress (which i LOVE)! The reception was an absolute dream. So beautiful, and filled with people who came to give us their love! My grandpa sang to us with his Barbershop Quartet (~Sigh~) the women in my life sang me a song to the tune of a Beatles song about me and the love they have for me (~SIGH~) Uncle Puna sang to the crowd of people that grew and grew as more people came in and stood along the walls. (~"Tongan Elvis"~ ;))

Friends singing and playing Ukulele for us (~hahaha love it!~) Rodney's cousin Numa doing a traditional Tongan dance and watching as Lata (Rodney's mom) Puna (Rodney's uncle) and that sexy guy (Rodney hahaha) got up and danced behind her with such happiness and excitement for this great day! (~S~I~G~H~!~) Such a joyous occasion and so fun!


Cutting the beautiful delicious cake, no cake in the faces (luckily!) and on to dancing, more hugs, more tears and just happiness all round from the little girls twirling in their beautiful red dresses, to those sitting and enjoying those little girls' silly laughter. :]


My amazing, sweet, and beautiful Mother put the entire thing to action. Without my Mama there would have been nothing. No food. No photographers. No reception. No Temple date. Nothing. She literally put everything in to place and had so many people give her a helping hand with things from putting the decorations up to giving her discounted or free (!!!) things to make our day that much more special. We are so so blessed to have had her, and still have her, helping us and making things work for us the best that she can. She truly goes above and beyond for everyone inside and outside her family to do her very best.


This entire day was filled with moments that will never leave our memories or our hearts. It was an incredible feeling to marry my Rodney and know that I can be with him forever. There is no 'Death till us part' for us. We have each other long after this, and I could never ask for anything more. :]


I love you Rodney Davetie Sopu. For. EVER.

Chapter 4: Plane Ride Home/My Endowments

December 22nd 2010 we set off (SO early in the morning..ugh) to the airport to catch our flight to the mainland. Poor Rodney was so nervous throughout the entire 5 1/2 hour flight over the Pacific and I would frequently reassure him that everything was going to be fine and that my family already loved him. I know this was little help because it's hard to fathom that someone could love you if they've only had minimal communication with you, and when I say minimal I mean minimal. Several short Skype sessions and awkward phone conversations (haha), and that is literally it. That is an extremely difficult way to try and get to know the family you're about to marry into. I, however, didn't have the opportunity to Skype or have a conversation with my soon-to-be-in-laws. SO, you can imagine how nervous I was to meet his family as well.


The plane wasn't matching the speed of my heart and the anxiety, that grew with every heartbeat, of just needing to be in my Mom and Dad's arms again. I needed Rodney to see them and the genuine love they have for him and the excitement they had so he would feel the comfort and reassurance that would make his nervous heart slow. I could tell he was as anxious as I was; but for different reasons.

Imagine the first time you met the parents or any family of someone you dated or had a crush on. Now imagine that you were already engaged to the person and still hadn't met, nor hardly even talked to, their parents in person. Oh, and remember the wedding is 6 days away. Kind of makes your stomach lurch a little doesn't it? I tried to sympathize, although I had already met his parents and it wasn't near as nerve racking as I thought it would be. Then I figured that I only had to meet his parents and his oldest niece...He had to meet just about everyone in my family. Poor guy. Not that my family is scary, but sometimes they can be a little overwhelming. Especially because they want to know every detail to the smallest thing about him and only have a few short moments during their introduction to do so. Friendly interrogation to them was scary as hell to him. :]

It took a lot of convincing in the weeks leading up to our flight home to get Rodney to understand that even though my family did not know him as they got to know the other men and women who had married into the family, they still loved him. Perhaps it is difficult for some to understand how this is possible, but with the trust and support of my family, the comforting Spirit of the Lord, and some deep breaths, it is possible to love someone you don't even hardly know.

My family loves Rodney because he loves me, respects me, and treats me with the gentle care that every woman needs.

He takes care of me; they love him. He takes me to the temple; they love him. He makes me laugh until I pee myself; they think I'm kinda gross, but they LOVE him. :]

We are both almost equally far from where we grew up and where we have always called home, but I have truly been able to begin to grasp the idea that we can make anywhere we are in the world feel a little more like home. Living in an apartment, there isn't much remodeling or rearranging we can do to make it physically similar to our homes, but there are other things we can do.

We were both immensely blessed to be born into families and homes with wonderful values, traditions, laughter and love. We have been raised in environments where family is as important as breathing or eating. The friendships that are formed between siblings, cousins and other family is something that can be cherished for, literally, eternity. That is how we can transform our house, wherever it may be, into a home. By bringing that key idea of family being among the most important things of this life into our home. Of course there are other attributes that make a house a home, but I truly believe that friendships formed within the family, (not just having a sister, but having a sister that you are so close to and miss for even a moment they're not with you) are the strongest friendships over time.

The day after we arrived in Spokane, was the day that I went through the temple for my own endowments. The morning of that wonderful day my Mom, Aunt and Grandmother took me into a room and explained a few of the things that would take place when I went into the temple. I was so nervous. Not that it would be scary, but that I wouldn't understand and would feel overwhelmed with everything to take in. That feeling wore off quicker than I thought it would, and I was able to enjoy the temple with my family and people from my home ward to support me during this day.

The best part, however, was being able to see my best friend and the man I would soon marry in that same temple a few days from then smiling over and me and glancing
my way. At the end of the temple session there were so many smiles and happy tears that I will never forget. That feeling was an absolutely incredible one. To be in the Temple of the Lord with friends, family, and the man I would stand by for the rest of eternity; smiling all the way.

Chapter 3: Brave Man Calls My Daddy

The marriage proposal story wasn't anything fancy or extravagant, just simple and sweet. :] Although we had already decided together that we felt that getting married was a step we both felt ready to take in our lives, he still proposed to me. Down on one knee, on the temple grounds on a cool Hawaii evening, and walked me back home holding me down so I wouldn't float away on a cloud. :] This story however came after what I'm about to explain. :]

I don't really know if it's customary in every culture for a man who is courting a girl with intentions to marry her to meet her father, (I think it should be out of respect for the parents and possibly for a sprout of fear to grow within that boy so that he knows what he gets to deal with if he ever hurts Daddy's Princess ;]) or if it is customary to ask the parents for the girl's hand in marriage. However, regardless of any cultural differences or fear he had of my dad, Rodney called my dad.

I have to be honest; Rodney calling my dad was one of the most amazing moments of my life so far. I've never seen him nervous in the entire time I've known him, and although people told me 'Oh he's so quiet!' and 'He's so shy!', I knew a different side. So his restlessness and discomfort as he paced back and forth near the temple waiting for my dad to answer the phone was almost weird to see. I wish I could have recorded the whole thing, and recorded my heart at the same time. It was pounding out of nervousness for his nervousness not that I really expected my dad to say "You stay away from my little girl else I'ma bust out my BB gun!"(...hahaha..Sorry dad, I had to :]) My heart was melting at the same time because of the way he worded his asking my dad for my hand.

I've heard of men asking in the simplistic ways you would expect them to, but my Rodney asked my dad in the best way possible to ask a man who is about to let go of his oldest daughter and put her in the hands of a man who loves her with all of his heart... Rodney said:

"Can I take your daughter to the temple and be sealed to her there for all eternity?"

This is the man I married. The man who puts the Gospel and the love he has for it in every decision he makes. I cannot express how incredibly blessed and grateful I am for his endless strive to better himself, and our family. He is an incredibly hard worker, and rarely ever complains or gets down on himself (Something I am working very hard to incorporate in my own life). He is such an example to me and he comes from an amazing family. He has the gentle but respected way that his own father and my father have. I couldn't ask for a better man to be my husband and one day the daddy to our children that he has always been meant to be. (The picture is of my Dad and I during the wedding reception)

My own father has sacrificed so much in his life so that the my siblings and I could have a home to live in as well as a father who would wrestle and play with us after long day of work. Being the oldest and only child for nearly the first 5 years of my life, my dad and I created a bond that will never be broken. While he was obviously my father, he was also (and still is) one of my best friends. I want my children to have that kind of bond with their father. To recognize the sacrifice and hard work, even at such a young age, but to also have their daddy to play and laugh with them at any given moment.

I can't recall exactly how long it was after he called my dad that he proposed, but I do remember it clearly. We went on frequent walks to the temple grounds and Visitor's Center when we were dating and on one of these walks was the walk. We have a specific place where we would always sit and talk and as we went to sit down I actually felt the box in his pocket where our legs were touching. Accidentally of course! He saw that I had felt the box and wasted no more time. :] The wonderful man I had fallen in love with in every way; his kindness, his patience, his love and his gentle ways asked me to spend the rest of the eternities with him.

I said, "Yes."

That 'yes' was simply the greatest decision I have ever made. I have never even for a second doubted the decision we made to be together. To be engaged. To be married and sealed to each other forever. Although we will always have Satan in this world to try and distort the love we have and the strength we have I have one thing to say. The people who know Brother James Lee (Seminary teacher at my high school) will know the power of this simple phrase.

STRIVING THROUGH ADVERSITY, WE WILL ALWAYS FIND A WAY.

Chapter 2: How 'RodRiel' Began

Ok, first I have to say that no one really calls us "RodRiel," although I have a feeling it will catch on. :] In this post, I'm going to fill in all of those who never heard the story of our beginning, or, for those of you who have already heard it, a reminder of how it started. :] (I'm also going to use Rodney's version of the story, because it makes my heart flutter :] Hahaha) (This picture is Rodney and my first picture that we took on the Laie Hawaii Temple grounds, and no that's not a tattoo on his hand)

Roughly two weeks after Rodney arrived in Hawaii, (April 2010) a couple of our friends who had just been married were headed to Tonga for six weeks or so. A bunch of people were up at one of the Tongan professor's houses to wish them off and to just kind of hang out with each other before they left. [Ok, here's where Rodney's version starts :]]

We (Rodney and some of the other new guys) pulled up to the house where everyone was and as we were pulling in a group of people started coming out from the house. In the group was you (Me) and a couple of your friends. I was staring and still remember that you were laughing with your friend and I knew I had to meet you. I was in the passenger seat of the truck and asked my friend, who was driving, if he knew you and told him to introduce us.

So our mutual friend called me (Ariel) over to the truck to 'meet some of the new guys.' So I walked over and kinda poke my head in the truck to say hi to them, but it was dark outside already and even with the light on in the cab of the truck it was hard to see them clearly. I had seen the 'new group' of guys from Tonga walking around together on campus but hadn't learned any of their names yet. Rodney was in the passenger seat and his cousin Ti was in the back seat. It was a short conversation and then we head out in our separate ways.

The next day was Sunday, and also the day that Rodney and I became aware that we were in the same ward....I saw him clearly when I walked into Sacrament Meeting and daaaaaang did he (and still does!) look fine! ;] Then I realized that my closest friend Amy and I were singing a duet in that meeting that day. I wasn't nervous until that moment and the twenty minutes or so before it was our turn to go up to the pulpit and sing, I have heavy butterflies that would not relax. Then it came time for us to go up, and as we were walking to the pulpit I whispered to Amy that if I looked at him while we were singing, I would forget the words. (Even with the hymn book right in front of me!) Amy told me to 'just don't look at him then!'

Amy and I sang the hymn Did You Think to Pray, and we did a wonderful job if I say so myself! :] That is until I looked at Rodney...siiigh....I couldn't resist. I knew exactly where he was sitting and tried my very hardest to avoid glancing his gorgeous way-ahem...haha...but, I just couldn't take it anymore. On the last line of the very last verse, I looked his way and found his beautiful brown eyes staring right. at. me! Aaaand then I mumbled something that sort of resembled the last three or four words of the song, blushed bright red, then walked back to our seat with Amy. :] (The picture to the left is Amy and I with mustaches..... :])

Rodney later told me that he couldn't look away from me as I was singing and was waiting for me to look at him. He still claims to this day that from that point and two months after that I 'ignored' him...It's an impossible battle, because i always comes back to "Well you ignored me for two months!" Hahaha :]
About two months later (hahaha) was when I started feeling myself questioning whether or not to stay in Hawaii. I had finally decided that I was ready to go home and be with my family again until I decided what I wanted to do next with my life. Word spread surprisingly quickly of my leaving the island but no one had really convinced me just yet to return, or stay on Oahu.

Two weeks before my flight was scheduled and paid for, I was in my room one night folding laundry and playing around on Facebook when none other than that handsome hunk Rodney came online and started chatting with me. He told me he had heard that I was leaving soon and that sparked a conversation that went from Facebook to Skype in a matter of minutes and lasted for over three hours...Side note here; We were both in our dorms which are less than 150 yards apart from each other. :] After a few more days of spending time together (in person, not via internet), we recognized that we were having feelings for each other, and I wondered if I was supposed to meet this man so that I would return to Hawaii.

My plane ticket had been purchased already and even if I had wanted to stay, I had no money and I wasn't enrolled in classes so the dorms were all filled up anyway. So we decided that we would continue to date over Skype for the next 4 weeks until I worked/donated enough Plasma to afford a plane ticket back to Hawaii as well as my first month's rent in an off campus house.

Night after night we would Skype each other (by the way we have promised each other to NEVER have to do that again...it sucked) And after 4 weeks, I realized I didn't have enough money so I had to stay another 2 weeks...also sucked. But! I finally boarded that plane and head back to that kind, gentle and cuddly man I realized that I LOVED. (The picture below is from the day I got back...Oh how i missed that man!)


So that is the story of our beginning....I'll make my next post about what happened in the months after my triumphant return to Hawaii......*hint* Marriage Proposal *hint* :]

We love you all, we miss you and we're so glad that we are blessed with the technology in our lives to communicate with our families and friends all over the world....quite literally all over the world! :]

Love,
RodRiel