Chapter 12: "Husband Bashing"

Don't get it.

I can honestly say that not once in my entire life have I ever heard my Mum or Dad speak ill of each other to their friends. Occasionally I'd hear a small complaint about something small that the other does that annoys them (dirty clothes in the bathroom, etc) but not ONCE were they ever cruel or did they exaggerate some small annoyance to their friends. I have too many times heard women rant and rave about things their husbands do/don't do as if they think that I want in on that conversation..? Or just because I am married that I'd like to b**ch and moan about EVERY little imperfection in my husband.

NEWSFLASH: I DON'T.

Because I wasn't exposed to that kind of treatment between my own mother and father, I don't really know how to react to it when people share it with me. Even couples arguing in public makes me uncomfortable and I still remember my parents making an effort to argue in the privacy of their room away from us kids.

I'm not saying that Rodney and I don't argue, because we have and will continue to do so on occasion for quite some time, I'm sure. That's a part of marriage and really any relationship. However, for people to make spectacles of themselves when they are arguing just doesn't make sense to me.

I feel the same about people who drag anyone and everyone into their personal affairs by telling them every argument they have with their spouse and complain to their friends to try and get someone to back them up. So much of marriage is sacred, and in MY marriage, I keep our trials sacred, too. It's none of anyone else's business what we argue about and frankly, if someone comes to me "bashing" their spouse for a mistake or a flaw they have, I feel bad for them. Not because the mistake their husband/wife made was SO ANNOYING, but because they feel the need to come to someone else and speak with such distaste about their one and only...

I also wonder if their husband/wife knows how many people they go to talking that way about them. I know that MY feelings would be hurt if I heard through some random person that my own husband was telling them about something we had argued about, so why wouldn't someone else feel somewhat betrayed by that?

I may be too sensitive on the issue, but then again, my husband and I do not flaunt things of our personal life to anyone who will listen and that's just the way we are. Some marriages are different from ours in varying ways, but RESPECT should be a part of EVERY marriage.

Love your husband, wife, boyfriend or girlfriend.

You don't need to share every annoyance with everyone you know. It makes you look unkind and immature.

Treat them with respect and if something they have said or done REALLY makes you feel as horrible as you make it sound, work it out in KINDNESS between the two of you. I'm sure you'd both appreciate that more than if you share your disgust with the world.

Just needed to get that out there. This isn't about any one person in particular so I hope no one takes offense to it! <3