Chapter 37: Daydreaming

Daydreaming increasingly everyday about having a house and fixing it up just how I imagine. The future is so uncertain with so many opportunities and options we may take advantage here pretty soon so I know that the possibility of us settling enough to buy a house is pretty low, but ohh how I wish we had a place of our own.

I know it'll happen eventually, when we've found the place that feels right to stay long term, but somehow I feel like we will drift from place to place for a while until things get more concrete as far as work, school, etc... I told Rodney the other night that we should just live in an RV and move from campground to campground...But I can't guarantee my sanity will last longer than a week of that.

I love the "tiny house" idea that is becoming more and more popular, but I really don't mind any dream of a home that's not an apartment. Our apartment is great, it really is. It's so much bigger and cleaner feeling than the one we called home in Hawaii (not to mention all of the amenities that just don't come with a lot of affordable places in Hawaii) but I can't help but dream about how great it will be to have a little more space and most importantly a yard.

We have tossed around living in so many different places, but I feel anxious and that dread feeling in my stomach without having the peace of mind that comes with knowing with absolute certainty that there is a job ready and waiting when we arrive.

I don't know if that is a lack of faith or maybe just the realist in me that doesn't want to make a huge mistake and wind up unnecessarily burdening us with more stress. I'm already prone to anxiety attacks and the last thing I consciously want to do is to put myself and my family in a position where that is inevitable.

I'm not sure what opportunities my own college degree will provide for me when I finish my schooling, but I am hoping that whatever it is will help my little family move forward into another chapter that we will have already been prepared for.

I truly believe that is a factor in why things seem to be moving at a snail's pace in some aspects for our little family. Now is the time to prepare and it would be foolish not to take advantage of this time we are given.

Here's to gaining experiences, education and saving money!

Donations welcome. ;]