Chapter 12: "Husband Bashing"

Don't get it.

I can honestly say that not once in my entire life have I ever heard my Mum or Dad speak ill of each other to their friends. Occasionally I'd hear a small complaint about something small that the other does that annoys them (dirty clothes in the bathroom, etc) but not ONCE were they ever cruel or did they exaggerate some small annoyance to their friends. I have too many times heard women rant and rave about things their husbands do/don't do as if they think that I want in on that conversation..? Or just because I am married that I'd like to b**ch and moan about EVERY little imperfection in my husband.

NEWSFLASH: I DON'T.

Because I wasn't exposed to that kind of treatment between my own mother and father, I don't really know how to react to it when people share it with me. Even couples arguing in public makes me uncomfortable and I still remember my parents making an effort to argue in the privacy of their room away from us kids.

I'm not saying that Rodney and I don't argue, because we have and will continue to do so on occasion for quite some time, I'm sure. That's a part of marriage and really any relationship. However, for people to make spectacles of themselves when they are arguing just doesn't make sense to me.

I feel the same about people who drag anyone and everyone into their personal affairs by telling them every argument they have with their spouse and complain to their friends to try and get someone to back them up. So much of marriage is sacred, and in MY marriage, I keep our trials sacred, too. It's none of anyone else's business what we argue about and frankly, if someone comes to me "bashing" their spouse for a mistake or a flaw they have, I feel bad for them. Not because the mistake their husband/wife made was SO ANNOYING, but because they feel the need to come to someone else and speak with such distaste about their one and only...

I also wonder if their husband/wife knows how many people they go to talking that way about them. I know that MY feelings would be hurt if I heard through some random person that my own husband was telling them about something we had argued about, so why wouldn't someone else feel somewhat betrayed by that?

I may be too sensitive on the issue, but then again, my husband and I do not flaunt things of our personal life to anyone who will listen and that's just the way we are. Some marriages are different from ours in varying ways, but RESPECT should be a part of EVERY marriage.

Love your husband, wife, boyfriend or girlfriend.

You don't need to share every annoyance with everyone you know. It makes you look unkind and immature.

Treat them with respect and if something they have said or done REALLY makes you feel as horrible as you make it sound, work it out in KINDNESS between the two of you. I'm sure you'd both appreciate that more than if you share your disgust with the world.

Just needed to get that out there. This isn't about any one person in particular so I hope no one takes offense to it! <3

Chapter 11: Catch Up!

Yes, yes...I know I stink at updating. :]

As of tomorrow, January 18th, I will be 30 weeks pregnant! Nearly done with the pregnancy and although I will miss feeling our little girl moving around inside me, I am DEFINITELY looking forward to being done with all the discomforts of pregnancy! :]

For anyone who does not know, we are having a little girl, due March 28th, and her name is Mollie Lata 'I Fangatapu Sopu. :]

The first trimester, for those of you that read that post several back, was a NIGHTMARE. The second trimester, however, was amazing! So much energy, so much productivity and no sickness whatsoever! Now that I am a good way into the third trimester, I am feeling more sluggish and less motivated to get up and clean a little or go to work, but I still manage to do it!

Even though my energy is slowly fading, I can't help from cleaning SOMETHING on my days off (Drives Rodney crazy haha!)... Occasionally I'll have a crazy burst of energy and clean everything in sight, but for the most part I just clean a room a day, laundry or maybe just take out the trash. If I get something done, no matter how strenuous, I feel accomplished.

For instance, today I realized all our whites were dirty. In our apartment we don't have our own washer and/or dryer so we have to use the Married Housing laundromat. In order to use the machines in there however you use a refillable credit card type thing, and the machine that refills the card only takes $5, $10, or $20s. We didn't have any of those, and we currently have $1.93 in our account so...Laundry in our tub it is! :] I didn't realize how much I needed to wash until it was already soaking in the tub and too late to just throw in the hamper (mildew stink=sick mama)! So I spent the better half of my day off scrubbing, soaking, rinsing, and hanging laundry on homemade laundry lines in our bedroom near the window and fan! :] (Ohhh our bedroom smells so good!)

I should add here that I don't do any cleaning until Rodney leaves for school/work because he won't let me do anything and practically has to force me to relax. :] For me during this pregnancy cleaning is relaxing and almost therapeutic. It could just be that the smells of all the cleaners are absolute heaven to my weirdo pregnant senses! :D

I'm still working, and plan to until my Mama arrives in Hawaii the day before my due date haha, so I have an extra distraction to make time fly a little faster. I still work at the Polynesian Cultural Center in the snack bar scene, and I am impulsively cleaning all the time there as well! :] It's gratifying because it's the one thing I can do that doesn't involve much walking (or WADDLING) and it keeps me off my butt. :]

So much of my motivation comes from my sweet Rodney. He helps keep me positive and helps me remember that I need to keep healthy and happy for our sweet Baby Girl. :] I love him for taking such good care of me; washing the stinky dishes (I love cleaning everything else, just NOT the dishes haha!), massaging my poor aching back, making sure I'm eating plenty, etc. I never thought that pregnancy could involve so many perks! ;] Hahaha, kidding, he does all those things even when I'm not pregnant :]

I have had plenty of people ask me about any weird or crazy cravings that I have had during this pregnancy. I really haven't had any 'pickles-and-ice cream' combinations but I have been loving sugary foods but then a lot of fruit as well. (Balances out, right? ;]) The one weird craving, WHICH I HAVE NOT GIVEN INTO, is that I constantly want to eat our laundry detergent. Haha! It's a powder detergent that we get from Sam's Club so it's this giant tub of delicious smelling powder...Mmmm...Hahaha, but I SWEAR I have not put a single grain of it in my mouth, just a whole lot of smelling! :] Clean smells good to me!

An update on my sweetheart:

Ney has just started the Winter Semester here at BYU, and is on track to graduate either December 2012 or April 2013! He is working as a webmaster (Changing, fixing, updating websites for different departments of the school) as well as working as a student secretary in the English Department. It has it's good and bad days, but he is a trooper and works hard to support our little family. :] He got GREAT grades for this past Fall Semester and I am SO proud of him! He worked pretty dang hard and it definitely paid off. :] He constantly finds new ways to surprise me and bring so much light and love into our little apartment. I love him <3

We just celebrated our 1 year anniversary this past December and we both couldn't believe how fast that year flew by. It has been an amazing year and we have experienced so much and found SO much joy in our lives and in the exciting news of our first baby! :]

I will update again soon, when I get a moment to sit and write out everything! We love you all and are so grateful to everyone who has helped us get to this point in our lives together! <3

Chapter 10: Sunday Mornings

Growing up I always knew it was Sunday morning when I woke up to hymns being played on the piano right above my room, or if church music was being played at full volume on the stereo, but I rarely knew the peace it brought to a Sabbath morning. Not due to anyone else's fault but because of my grumpy-morning-hating attitude; especially with being woken up by anything other than a new text message on my phone.

Lately, however, I've realized that the more I play Hymns, EFY music, etc, the better it feels in our home, too. This feeling could be a mixture of a cleaned house, folded laundry, and a great smelling candle; but I know that there is something about listening to uplifting music in the home. I'll have a song or two stuck in my head as I leave for work, humming the tune throughout the day and I find that some situations are easier to handle because of the song I listened to that morning. Even if I am just playing around on my Facebook, or here on my blog, and I have some church music playing, I always just feel better. I understand why my Mom always played the church music now, and I'm so glad that she did (even if I didn't realize it at the time).

I am so grateful to have been born into a musically talented and music loving family. I miss hearing my Mom, Aunt, Gram and Papa practicing around our piano for an upcoming Sacrament meeting number. I miss being able to hear my mom singing next to me in Sacrament meeting and to this day I still sing the parts the way I remember her singing them; Even with the little added notes or her personality. I miss being able to hear my Papa singing his part all the way across the chapel.

Then I miss singing like I'm tone deaf to get an elbow to the ribs and a poorly hidden laugh from my Mom. Trying to get my Gram, the chorister, to smile or laugh at my brother and I while she was on the stand. Making eye contact with my Dad no matter where he was for our favorite "Day by Day" inside joke. *Nauvoo Shoes*

I miss my Papa's singing and his Barbershop performances. I keep telling Rodney about how fun it is to listen and to watch them, wishing we could go to the competitions and things that my Papa always goes to.

Chapter 9: "Please" & "Thank YOU:" Not Optional

I have this mentality about please and thank you's that I owe entirely to my Mother. Ever since forever I've had to say please to get something (Didn't work if I asked for cash for some reason :]) and thank you when I received something. Not just in public. Not just at home. Not just when Mom is standing behind you to make sure you say it. Always.

Rodney is great about saying please and thank you; this post isn't about him not saying it. :]

It's about people in general. Well, more specifically, the tourists that I see and talk to everyday at work. Some people are just RUDE! I understand that they pay a lot to fly here, for their hotel, for their food and entertainment, and for their tacky convertible Mustang rental but...If my 2 year old brother has the capability of using his manners, so does a 50-odd year old woman. You know that trick that parents use with their younger kids where they hold whatever it is the child wants until they say please? Then say "What do you say?" afterwards to get them to say thank you? I can't tell you how many times I've had to restrain myself from doing that to tourists. Makes. Me. CRAZY. Of course I can't actually say or do anything to that effect if I want to keep my job, but ohhh so many tempting times. Just common courtesy and common sense to me.

Thanks Mom. :]

Chapter 8: I HATE Ants!!

Hate them! No matter how much I do to prevent and exterminate them, they're still there! They geckos in our house are slacking big time in their job to eat all of them!

These ants aren't like the normal little black ants from back home. They're smaller, faster, and trave

l in armies to make my life miserable. Apparently they're called "Ghost Ants." This is what they look like.

They are literally everywhere. Walls, tables, counters, chairs, bed, bathroom, sinks, carpet, food-oh, and my favorite, the SHOWER HEAD!! Are you kidding me?! You're not already invading enough of my home that you feel the need to take a ride on the stream of water from the shower into my HAIR?! Augh!! You know, if this was pre-pregnancy and I had ants in my hair, I'd just be annoyed and wash my hair again. At this point, however, I totally gagged and continued to do so as I scrubbed the stupid ants out of my hair. Pregnancy makes me weird.

The other thing these little jerks do is bite me. When they're all blended in with the carpet, it's hard to see them when they're charging my feet and then bite between my toes. They bite my hands when I'm at the desk on the computer. They bite my neck when I lay on the couch. Ant traps don't work. Ant spray works for about a day.

I found an interesting fact about this little terrorists though! Their butts change color according to the color of food that they eat! So...interesting but not quite enough to make me not want to kill them. (Oh look, three are crawling on the computer screen right now! Gah!)

That's it. I'm burning my house down...Better let my neighbors know, since it's an apartment complex. :]

Chapter 7:I Love My Rodney

My husband is such an incredibly hard worker. He has sacrificed so much and continues to sacrifice for our little family. He goes to class early and stays on campus for work and more classes throughout the day, then he comes home and studies and reads until well after I can keep my eyes open at night. Rodney always stops every little while to make sure I'm alright, even if I'm totally occupied in my own little thing. He cares.

He is thoughtful and sweet and notices things that I do around the house or just in general. He compliments the things I try to do (cook) even if I stink at it. One thing I can say with most certainty to any women/girls who

are not married yet; If you have a man who is not a picky eater and even if he hates the meal you've cooked, will never say a word, that will be something that you will always be grateful for. For example, Rodney (unknown to me) hates shrimp. I made it one night probably 6 months ago, and he ate every bite. It wasn't until a week or so later when I didn't believe that he liked every food and had to pry the words out of him that he didn't like shrimp. Remember the only reason he told me this was because I pinned him in a corner to get it out of him. :] My feelings were not hurt, and rarely are when it comes to cooking, but he insisted that it was ok if I made it again and that he would eat it again! I believed him, but I figured I wouldn't put him through the torture again! ;]

Sometimes I worry about the load that he takes on and how he tries to hide his stress from me to prevent me from being stressed, too. It is a considerate thought but I am way more vulnerable to stress if I can tell something is wrong and I don't know what it is/what I can to do help. I like to talk through a lot of things. Rodney, not so much. It's something we've kind of had to find a common ground on and now that we have, it's easier to find solutions for things weighing on either of our shoulders.

I love my husband. Something kind of tacky I want to throw in here, but I remember feeling like "Yes! Exactly!" when I heard this. For any Office lovers out there, this may sound familiar. There was an episode that had something to do with Pam (the receptionist's) parents and how they were going through a rough point in their marriage, but the whole episode had bits of Jim talking about how he felt about it and Pam talking about how she felt about it. There is a line at the end of the episode where Pam says, "When you're a kid you assume your parents are soul mates, my kids are going to be right about that."

My kid's will be right about that, too. :]

Chapter 5: The Wedding

Where to begin? Well, I slept horrible. That's a good place to start. :] I don't know when I fell asleep but it felt quite like that scene in a movie when as soon as a character closes his eyes, the alarm clock goes off. Morning came too soon and not soon enough all at the same time.

I could not wait to see the man of my dreams in the Temple that day, and to hold his strong hands as we were sealed together for time and all eternity. Everyone in the family prepared to go to the Temple to wait for that moment when we would walk out of those temple doors as Mr. and Mrs. Rodney Davetie Sopu. Little sisters and little cousins in their matching red dresses anxious to see the bride in her white dress. Parents emotional and proud of their children; the Sopu's youngest and the Erickson's eldest. Aunts, uncles and cousins giving their support for the two young people making that big step that leads to a chapter~a novel~of their new lives from then on. That step that would bring to pass so many adventures, and a beginning to a posterity that will stretch on to the eternities.

We had the absolute privilege to have Rodney's father, 'Isileli Sopu, there in the temple with us to seal us together for time and all eternity. Such an overwhelming amount of love filled that room. My parents, grandparents and extended family as well as Rodney's parents, Uncle Puna and Aunt Sociale were there for the sealing and what a wonderful experience it was. We were so grateful to have the love and support of our families and to have them there feeling the Spirit with us, too. We could feel my Great Papa Anderson's spirit in the room as well as many others who have passed on, and we could feel the love and the happiness they have for us as we made the choice to be married to one another for time and all eternity. After we were sealed, everyone in the room came around to us to hug us and give us their love before we went outside to greet the rest of our friends and family. Such pure joy was filling that room and continued to fill every room that we moved into from that moment and throughout the reception later that night. I loved the feeling of having so much support and people there who loved us and wished so much that the rest of Rodney's siblings could have been there. Their love and support was with us, but oh how we wished they were, too.

Anyone who wasn't (or still isn't) in approval of our marriage; well, there isn't much we can say or do to try and change their mind. They have feelings set about us and/or the choice we made together to get married and that is something that they will have to come to terms with in their own lives. We're not going to have our lives negatively affected by people who choose to hurt others with words and cruelty. We are happy. We are blessed. We pray together and make decisions together. We have the knowledge of the gospel and the knowledge that we are living our lives in the right, so we know that with our strength together and with the Lord, nothing can shake that.

We went out into the waiting room before going outside to take some pictures with family and friends who had traveled short distances, long distances and halfway across the world to be with us. More hugs and more tears. :] A moment I will never forget and a memory that someone captured for us; the moment when I got to hug that tall baby brother of mine. He is still a few years from receiving his own endowments and going out on his mission for the Lord, but I had a wave of warmth come over me as I hugged him because I know how wonderful of a missionary, a man, a husband and father he will be one day. I have known that for quite some time and I remember that realization when he was still quite young. He has a gentle kindness about him that just radiates Christ's teachings and the type of man that all men should strive to be; a good one. He takes after our Daddy.

My Rodney is like that, too. I'm so glad that I had a great example growing up of how a man should be. So that one day I could find the man of my dreams, and the one who would treat me as my father treated my mother. A man who would love and cherish every moment with his children no matter how naughty they were being. A man who would put his own needs and desires second to the welfare and protection of his family. A man who would lead by example in all things from paying a full tithe and going to every church meeting to helping mom with the younger kids and making life easier around the house by picking up your own mess. That is the type of man I grew up knowing as the only kind to marry, and my grandma has always told me to marry someone like my dad.

I did.

We went with Arah Kunz and Julie Eggleston (our incredible amazing wonderful fun wedding photographers!) after we had finished at the temple to a park near my home to take the rest of our pictures and had so much fun even though we (or I) couldn't feel our toes, fingers or noses! :]
I knew that the pictures would turn out awesome after how much fun we had and how wonderful their previous work is and couldn't wait to see the finished product! (madelinejamesphotography.typepad.com )

After that, we all head over to the church building where the reception would be held later that evening, ate a fantastic lunch, ate fantaaaastic snickers chocolate cake and took more family pictures. After this had taken place, we all head back to our homes to take much needed naps! :]



Later that evening everyone changed out of their sweats back into their skirts and dresses, or in our case his pinstripe suit (hot) and my fancy schmancy wedding dress (which i LOVE)! The reception was an absolute dream. So beautiful, and filled with people who came to give us their love! My grandpa sang to us with his Barbershop Quartet (~Sigh~) the women in my life sang me a song to the tune of a Beatles song about me and the love they have for me (~SIGH~) Uncle Puna sang to the crowd of people that grew and grew as more people came in and stood along the walls. (~"Tongan Elvis"~ ;))

Friends singing and playing Ukulele for us (~hahaha love it!~) Rodney's cousin Numa doing a traditional Tongan dance and watching as Lata (Rodney's mom) Puna (Rodney's uncle) and that sexy guy (Rodney hahaha) got up and danced behind her with such happiness and excitement for this great day! (~S~I~G~H~!~) Such a joyous occasion and so fun!


Cutting the beautiful delicious cake, no cake in the faces (luckily!) and on to dancing, more hugs, more tears and just happiness all round from the little girls twirling in their beautiful red dresses, to those sitting and enjoying those little girls' silly laughter. :]


My amazing, sweet, and beautiful Mother put the entire thing to action. Without my Mama there would have been nothing. No food. No photographers. No reception. No Temple date. Nothing. She literally put everything in to place and had so many people give her a helping hand with things from putting the decorations up to giving her discounted or free (!!!) things to make our day that much more special. We are so so blessed to have had her, and still have her, helping us and making things work for us the best that she can. She truly goes above and beyond for everyone inside and outside her family to do her very best.


This entire day was filled with moments that will never leave our memories or our hearts. It was an incredible feeling to marry my Rodney and know that I can be with him forever. There is no 'Death till us part' for us. We have each other long after this, and I could never ask for anything more. :]


I love you Rodney Davetie Sopu. For. EVER.